U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
