You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
