On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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