I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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