are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
