i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
