If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
