i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize