I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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