Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
