I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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