someone get that fucking seahorse.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
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