She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
