I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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