I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
