Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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