so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
