this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I have already put on my inside pants.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
