we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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