You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Pooping to opera.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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