I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
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