Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
