You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
