oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize