Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
True college students do jello shots in the library
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize