Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize