she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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