Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
