I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
