It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
no. you can't hotbox the world.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
