I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
