The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize