i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
My vagina just recognized that song.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
