thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
