We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
