Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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