he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
