Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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