he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm too high and old for this...
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
