Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
