Walk of Shame. In a state park.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize