I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
cat food counts as protein by the way
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
My feet surprised me
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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