I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize