How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
