I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
