Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
