Can Purell be used as lube?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
