OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
