I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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