sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
