is your mom at the bar?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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