somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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