K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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