Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Randomize
