I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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