Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
