Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
