Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I am one with the molecules
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize