dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
