She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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