btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
