I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
