in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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