remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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