Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
