i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
