You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
