You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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