That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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