I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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