At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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