Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
