The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
